3 Things You do After a Breakup
3 Things You do After a Breakup
art by: Kate Rabbit
I am always open when it comes to writing about my breakups. Mostly in an attempt to help guide anyone that may be going through the confusing process of one but also because it is therapeutic. I have found it so easy to share details of difficult situations because it helps to make sense of what I am feeling as I let the words come out of my mouth, in this case fingertips. I did notice that I tend to focus on the emotional side of situations: what brought me to that particular time, how I felt through it and how I came out on the other side, and not really about my actions. My post-breakup actions. How did I get through such an emotional stage of my life, not the healing of it but the physical things that I’ve done to feel better after dealing with that experience? What is it that I have done to get myself from that dark, feeling sorry for myself spot to the I am ready to take on the world one? I realized, that almost every time my actions were the same. Then I looked around me: What do the people around me and I have in common in what we do after a breakup? The answers were all pretty similar…
1. The Make-Over
Most of my dramatic haircuts are a result of a breakup. It’s almost like clockwork: my heart gets broken and next thing I know I am sitting in my best friend’s living room demanding she cuts my hair shorter while she complies because she knows that’s what I need in that moment. I don’t know what it is about the haircut that makes me feel so good when I am dealing with a breakup, sometimes I think that it makes me feel as if I am physically lifting weight off my shoulders or maybe like my hair holds history of the person that is no longer a part of my life. I try not to question this and just kind of let it happen. Sometimes a haircut alone doesn’t do what I need it to and that’s when something more daring such as bangs or a change in my hair color come in handy. You know it’s serious when all of these happen at once.
2. The Lifestyle Change
Losing weight is not usually a part of the post-breakup rituals. But after my last relationship, I felt so broken down I needed immense amounts of change. This was definitely due to the fact that this relationship was a bit more serious than the past ones and I took it a little harder. I couldn’t just settle for a hair make-over. I needed to regain control of myself, or at least have an illusion of it and I did so by controlling my body. Not in an unhealthy way, of course. I started to work out in a way I never had before. I was practicing Yoga and attending my Kickboxing classes as often as I could and would spend a lot of my free time working out at home. I got into the best shape I’ve ever been in and that gave me the strength to try something I was meaning to for a while which was to become Pescatarian. I shed so much weight and my new healthy lifestyle put me in a great spot mentally and physically. That’s when I started to look at the bright side of things. I am not sure that if I hadn’t gone through such a tough time that I would’ve began to take my health as serious as I did, even if it happened due to the need to have control over a single aspect of my life.
3. The Selfie After
It doesn’t matter who you are: if you go through a breakup, one of the stages you must go through before getting over it is the one in which you do everything in your power to show the person you were with that life is just dandy without them in it. And how does one accomplish this? Unless you’re into texting your ex very staged pictures of you “having fun,” you do it through social media. And what better way to do it than to take a HOT selfie sporting your new hair while smizing. I can describe this in detail because I’ve been there and I can admit it. TOTALLY normal and a part of the process.
The most important part of getting over a break up is when you realize how much growth you have achieved. Even when your actions don’t make sense (I sometimes sat at the salon chair wondering why I needed to change my hair to feel better although I felt great after) or when you think you are being silly for wanting to post a picture to prove something to someone that no longer matters you must always remember that these are the actions you are going to learn from the most. Whether it is a small action or a big action or one that is going to give you temporary relief from all the emotions you are going through, it is so important to put it all out there and allow yourself to experience everything you need to.
Until the next Late Night,